I need to stop.
Stop doing things that I don’t want to do that I think people want me to do.
Does that make sense?
Like for instance, I’m in the process of going through my google reader. I have a lot of blogs on there, half of which are deserted and another quarter of which I don’t even read anymore making my reader often at 1000+. Which I hate. I hate when it gets that high.
But I subscribe to a lot of blogs because I saw them linked somewhere and felt “well maybe I should read that…” Then I don’t.
Stop doing things because you think you should. K?
Just like when I was at lululemon, I altered my goals to be things that I thought I should be doing. Like being a nutritionist or personal trainer or Iron woman. The thing is, I never had the drive to get there. It sounded exciting when I said it, but a real goal should motivate you to accomplish it.
Newsflash self, that’s not you.
Goals should reflect yourself and what you want right? My career goal? I want to work in social media/marketing/business strategy. I feel very strongly that this is my path and that I’m going to do whatever it takes to get there. I know I need to start studying for the GMAT, I KNOW THIS, but with my schedule being 1-10p? It’s just not happening. However, I also know that there are deadlines for my Business School application. I have a time line for myself as well, I want to have my application and everything in there before Thanksgiving. It will happen.
I’ve always been a “people pleaser” if you will. Afraid of being judged or criticized but ultimately, I’m not going to get what I want by pleasing others or doing things just to make others happy.
So I’m going to stop comparing myself to others – because I don’t run 8 miles a day or eat in every night of the week or sign up for dozens of races. Because everyone has different circumstances and struggles. My struggles? Working from 1-10p on weeknights, balancing work with spending time with my husband with my junior league responsibilities with having a social life. If my schedule were 9:30-6:30? Maybe things would be easier. Maybe.
But what I need to do is prioritize. Priorities equal balance. To do lists. I need to get myself organized again – even if that means for me, scheduling out my day every day so that I make better use of my time.
Failing does not a failure make.
Sometimes, I need to be reminded of this. Just because I’m not where I thought I’d be at the age of 28, just because my career is not the fabulous career I thought I’d have at the age of 28, and just because my husband and I have spent much of the almost 2 years we’ve been married on an employment rollercoaster does not make me (or him for that matter) a failure. I have goals. That have evolved and finally? I’m proud of those goals because I’m certain I can accomplish them.
Stop worrying what other people think.
So from today on, I’m going to do what I want. Focus on my own goals and not what other people think I should want or do or read or enjoy. I’m going to stop worrying what other people think – not just of my life choices but if I should lose weight, if I spend too much money I don’t have (I don’t…anymore), because it’s my life…and hubs’ and other people are not me nor are they in my marriage or my job.
Do you worry about what others think? How do you focus on yourself?