The not good…
I didn’t get up to run this morning. Will have to run tonight when i get home. I’m really not a morning person, no matter how hard I try. I just love that snooze button so damn much.
I did not get my promotion I had interviewed for. Which means in about three weeks my schedule will change again, and I won’t have a life for two months. “It’s not you…” they said. But still, the curt words of rejection sting regardless of the reason.
I won’t be going home for Thanksgiving. The raise I was hoping for, won’t be happening.
The news above? Not all bad. Well except the job part that really sucks. A lot.
But the suckiest part of all…is all I want is to curl up in the husbands arms and cry my eyes out and I can’t. I can’t even talk to him. Until Sunday. Maybe. For 15 minutes at most.
As I was told last night by a fellow JLA member, “things don’t get easier” and “you can’t be strong all the time” – this doesn’t bode well for me if I’m a week in and want to break down. But her? I have a lot of admiration for her considering her and her husband have been apart for longer than they’ve been together. Good to know I don’t always have to have it together – that people get it.
God this is going to be awful if he gets deployed. That being said, I’ve got some amazing pals here at work who have surrounded me with love and kindness. And that’s the key to surviving as a military wife I’ve been told – surround yourself with awesome, supportive people and find a community to rally around.
That being said, I need to reevaluate my long term goals. Find my passion again. Think about what I want to be doing and what I am doing and how one can assist me toward reaching the other. Because lets face it, this job – while I love, love love my coworkers and my company…ain’t a dream job.
So tonight, i will go for a run. I will watch something cheesy on television. Drink a glass of wine. And pick myself up from my broken my pieces. I will write my husband a long old skool letter and let myself cry and feel defeated. Tomorrow, when I wake up to do my workup (which I will do!) I will be re-energized and recommitted to being a rock star (which I haven’t done as of late).
In the mean time. I’m going to keep on pushing that ignore button while tears sting my eyes.