Moving on…

So as I mentioned over on my tumblr blog, I have not yet had the chance to leave a job on my own terms.

Job #1. An awful law firm. Small. A boys club. I was the “receptionist” but never really a good fit. The anal retentiveness of them clashed with my own perfectionism and aspirations to succeed in different realms. We parted, on their doing, on a Monday in September, shortly after hubs and I met, because I “wasn’t a good fit.” I gained nothing but a twitch from that job.

Job #2. A temp to perm job. Remained temp. I worked for “labor union rights” as a temp with no benefits. It seemed hypocritical – further hypocritical when they chose not to pay me for the week off they required me to take over the holidays because the office was closed. I eventually left, giving a few days notice to start my job at…number 3!

job #3. An abusive government relations firm with more employee turnovers than the Steelers had in Superbowl 45. My boss was verbally abusive – the effects of which I still struggle with (confidence mostly). I was essentially fired on a Friday afternoon, with no warning about my performance whatsoever. Its versus their. A minor grammar mistake. Whoops? Ahh well. It was…essentially for the best. I still believe it’s because she didn’t want to pay me my bonus which was coming up at the end of the month – fun fact, all of my “teammates” were gone by the end of the following month. Thankfully I was planning on leaving at the end of the month anyhow, and I no longer had to listen to my boss call my coworkers and I “fucking idiots.” Take that in your crack pipe and smoke it.

Job #4. The non profit. Ohhhh the shady, unethical nonprofit. I can’t even begin to go on about this one, so I’ll leave it to your imagination. “Laid off” March 12 2009 – six months exactly to my wedding day. On the plus side, I didn’t have to invite my office to the wedding (since half  of them were jackholes anyhow…I was going to abide by the whole ‘invite one invite all’ to be polite a la Jim and Pam. Thank goodness I didn’t have to do that).

I freelanced a bit on the side. Tried to get a career started. Almost got into grad school (a provisional acceptance pending I take a couple of electives). I won’t count the temp job I lost on my honeymoon. The “contract ended” without reason ever really. I’m still unclear about that. So we moved to CT and I found Job #5.

Job #5 – I thrived. I loved my coworkers. The benefits. The culture. It was what I needed to regain confidence, and regain a sense of direction in my career. The only thing I got out of the previous four jobs was a damaged ego and a lost sense of direction. I was beyond lost…I was broken from my previous four experiences. But this one? I found my passion. I found my calling.

And now, I’m on to job #6. On my own terms. With a renewed sense of self, sense of direction, passion and eagerness to learn and grow. I will always be elevating the world from mediocrity to greatness because ultimately, my lemons helped me grow. I gain more than just a few coworkers with them, I got a family and I adore each and every one of them for that.

But now, it’s out with the lemons, not in a full aspect but in a “Make new friends, keep the old” kind of way. I gave my notice today. There were tears. But there was a lot of “we’re so happy for you”‘s which I needed. I never doubted my decision, it was necessary in many ways, and despite my nervousness walking in today from the bitter windiness, it went swimmingly.

Fare thee well lemons, you were sweet and you will always be family to me. I heart you all like a fat kid loves cake, and I can’t wait to visit and share all my new adventures with you gals (and guys).

But now, it’s on to the monkeys. Not cube monkeys but fun ones. And I’m not gonna lie, I can’t wait.

More blogging this weekend from the great white north. Meaning, we’re headed to Vermont/Connecticut for the week! Huzzah for family time!!!

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No Regrets

Random fact: I was once courted to run for office. In my small town, in Vermont, a week after I moved to DC. I got a phone call from the committee that supports candidates running for the house. I turned it down, mostly because there was so much change going on in my life at that point that I just…couldn’t go back and I wasn’t ready for a life in public service. Funny, because now a few of my former colleagues have run for office (both successfully and unsuccessfully) and a small part of me, wishes I was in that crowd. Wishes that I had said yes and moved home, and gone for it. Granted my life would be completely different, but the what if’s – especially in this case are intriguing and yet, also… irrelevant. Moving on…

One year ago I moved on from that budding career in politics. I’ll never quite forget the stinging conversation with that temp firm while standing in flippers on a catamaran in the Carribean Sea – the water so crystal blue and the trees in the distance ever so green – Hubs saw the voicemail. I saw the email and called them back.

“I’m so sorry, it’s just not a good fit.”

The contract of a temp-perm job at a lobbying firm in DC had been pulled out from under me. The stability that I had been clinging to the month leading up to our wedding had been yanked from me and we were right back to where we started. Two unemployed newlyweds.

I enjoyed the day but her words “Think about what you really want to do, what’s going to make you happy.” rang in my ears. Clearly politics was not doing it. Something I aspired to for five years. Nights of hard work, lots of papers, and a lot of dry readings with some heartbreaking campaign work thrown in to boot, what I wanted for so long was just not making me happy the way it did when it wasn’t a full time job.

It was on our way back to the main Island, as our trip was ending, that I told hubs I wanted to teach and then said “let’s just move. Let’s move to CT. I’m done with DC.”

I mean, I think I can take a hint that a city isn’t working for me when I lose my job ON my honeymoon (though if there is a place to lose a job, it’s definitely on a catamaran snorkeling trip with a full open bar) so we did. Less than a month later Hubs got a job, and we signed a lease here in Stamford.

The teaching thing didn’t work out – mostly because of financial reasons (we didn’t have the resources for me to take my prereqs to get into grad school) – but you know what? I’m still convinced, more so than ever, that everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, happens for a reason.

Though I’m working my tail off in three jobs, I’m immensely happy. Loving each job, loving my coworkers, and finally working with managers who are supportive and excited about my development and growth – which hasn’t always been the case in the past. Though this isn’t the way I expected my life to turn out, I’m pleased to say I have no regrets. A friend of mine from school asked if I wanted to start up my political blog on his online magazine again, and I thought about it, and then said that I’d love to blog for him, but I’m not sure politics is my topic anymore. While I do still adore following the rat races, I’m happier following it on my own terms and not for anyone else.

The biggest thing I’ve learned in the past year, and I probably sound like a broken record, everything happens for a reason. I had a hard time telling various people where I was working because I was afraid of being judged but really, I have no reason to be ashamed. And why should I be? I’m embarking on a career that makes me happy, excited to wake up to, and has opened my eyes to a whole different path of life that EXCITES me. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past five years since graduating it’s that having a job that excites you makes a world of difference.

{After all who wouldn’t love a job where you get to do this??}

Are you proud of where you are in life, even if it’s not where you expected to be? Where do you hope to be in 5 years?

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Crash and burn

And that’s why I’m wondering why you had to tell me
What’s going on in your head what’s wrong
Come around to another time when you don’t have to run
And when she says she wants somebody else
I hope you know she doesn’t mean you
And when she breaks down and makes a sound
You never hear her the way that I do
And when she says she wants someone to love
I hope you know she doesn’t mean you
And when she breaks down and lets you down
I hope you know she doesn’t mean you..”
-Howie Day “She Says”

I heard this song on my iTunes today and it brought me back to college. I don’t remember which year. There were probably a few points in college where this was a regular on my iTunes list (previously WinAmp…2001 what what?) I get a little nostalgic when the going gets tough, usually through music, what of it?

In all reality, I must confess… I’m finding myself having a hard time dealing with life. Mostly because I’m rolling into a 5 year-out-of-college (homies, we need a reunion…) point and I’m not where I thought I would be. Married yes – though many of my collegiate pals would not have pegged me as one of the first to get hitched. But working in retail, three jobs to barely get by? Not quite the dream job, despite the fact that I’m happy (though, ask me that in a month after working 7 days a week).Was not how I envisioned my life.

I thought I had very much defeated my quarter life crisis earlier this year but I find myself retreating to it. I started the Joy Plan, but I lost track of it mostly because I just couldn’t find the time for it. I think I will finish it. I need to. But maybe this isn’t my quarter-life crisis rearing itself on it’s hind legs coming to get me. Maybe this is just me dealing with crisis – often turning introverted and self-combusting until things are okay again. Maybe it’s both.

And it’s not a crisis – yet – but I’m scared. There, I said it. I’m scared of not being able to pay rent next month. I’m scared of sending in the paperwork to ask for an “economic hardship forbearance” for my student loans. I’m scared of working so much but feel like I have to to survive. To eat, live, breathe, and pay my obligations. I’m scared of going bankrupt. I’m scared of our debts, creditors calling. I’m scared of all that happening. It’s happened before. Not bad, and we’ve gotten ahead of it all but I’m still frightened.

I know hubs will find a job. God forbid he takes another campaign job, I may considering divorcing him (I kid, I kid) but in all seriousness, what I’m lost without is stability.

You know, the days when I could budget for a month without wondering how much my next paycheck would be. The days when I knew how much play money I had to get together with friends, go out to dinner and go out for a night on the town (a night on the town often equaled us sitting at a bar laughing together sharing a couple drinks). I miss having a life.

Hubs reassures me constantly that things will be okay – he has interviews, and yadda yadda yadda. Our parents won’t let us go broke etc…

But sometimes, I feel like that’s all just words. And I’m scared because reassuring words don’t pay the bills. Despite the difference that I have a job and Hubs doesn’t, he makes significantly more than me thus my fear.

This my friends, is not the happiness I was/am searching for, but rather a sad realization that tricking myself into thinking I defeated that quarter-life crisis was not in fact true, and that money may not buy happiness but it does buy stability which does factor into the equation that ultimately equals happiness.

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Book Review: Just Don’t Call me Ma’am…

A while ago, I was contacted to review “Just Don’t Call Me Ma’am (How I ditched the South, Forgot my manners, and managed to survive my twenties with (most of) my dignity still intact)” by Anna Mitchael.

Let’s get to the point: I loved it. Seriously, I couldn’t get enough. Anna’s writing was humorous, snarky and had a very Jenn Lancaster-ish vibe to it. What I mean by that, is that she’s relate-able. I adore author’s – especially memoirists, who are relate-able.

The book documents her twenties, starting with a nasty break up, going through job loss, dating, and then of course, going back to the place no one wants to go to when they’re a college graduate…back to mom and dad’s house.

The book also goes a lot into her relationship with her grandmother and how she shaped her life from a very early age – teaching her manners, how to treat others, and how her grandmother supported or in some cases, didn’t support, her decisions in life. But the anecdotes, are really what make the book, seriously. How she decides to take up cooking to impress the boy who eventually leaves her; her adventures into online dating; and how she decided to move north. Just because she’d never been.

It was very real and throughout the book I kind of thought to myself “I’ve been there…and this is exactly what it feels like.” She’s real. She doesn’t sugar coat life, but she does leave you feeling like you want to be her new bff. No lie.

“It’s like my grandmother says, “If you’re not going to bother to learn from your past, there’s no real point in struggling through any tough times that appear in the present.” And now, I will sleep easier knowing my brother did not ingest all those tira-mud-su pies in vain. I’ll sleep longer knowing that if I accidentally sleep in past breakfast, maybe that simply means I’m destined to meet the love of my life while I grab an early lunch.” (p.105)

I HIGHLY recommend this book for any twenty something who wants to see what life is like on the other side. Seriously, we’ve all been through the same crap she went through, and it is just that, it sucks. Break ups suck. Losing your job sucks. Moving back home whether it’s the week after graduation or a month before your thirtieth birthday – sucks. But she makes it all humorous. She adds a light hearted side that makes you feel like you’re hanging out with your gal pal talking about it all over a couple of margs. You can buy the book over at Amazon here.

{FTC Disclaimer: I was not paid for this review. I was sent a free copy of the book valued at 16 big ones, but the opinions here? Are all my own}

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Balancing Act

I had the luck of earning an opportunity to go to breakfast this AM with our GM – the regional one who happened to be in CT/NY for a couple days and one thing we got to talk about was balance.

Happiness in not just one out of x number of aspects of our lives, but our life as one, being happy in one area means being happy with everything.

So as I sat at the Greenwich Train station to head back to Stamford to meet hubs on my day off, I realized I am balanced. Fully balanced.

I mean, there’s always room for improvement. I can always be doing more – more for Hubs and I’s relationship, more for myself to be a better person (running more, doing yoga more, eating better…etc…), and doing more for work – but for the very first time since I graduated college in 2006, I truly feel balanced.

There’s no drama in any aspect of my life. I have healthy relationships for once with both parents. I am content with my yoga practice (though I’m certainly trying to increase it), and my running (am so far behind on my training but am still feeling really good about everything). I love my job. Hubs and I communicate so well and we’re so very happy and lucky that things are finally looking up for us.

I have a healthy balance in each area and it’s so true that if one of those aspects – social life, relationships, family, or work – is out of sync, or there’s a certain level of unhappiness with any aspect of your life, it affects all the areas.

I finally realized that that was what was bringing me down for the past few months. I was unbalanced. I was unmotivated, unhappy and damn near unwilling to consider doing anything about it, convinced that things would just…happen and that somehow, like everything else that has happened to me in my life, I would get lucky.

They don’t, in case anyone was wondering.

At some point, I need(ed) to reaffirm my self-worth because sometimes? I get down on myself and let the haters get to me and let all the negativity from my past bring me down in the present which is just…unfair to myself and to those around me. Smoke won’t always be blown up my ass to make me feel worthy of being good enough for x, y, or z. I shouldn’t need others to reaffirm my worth and that I’m not a complete – pardon my french – fuck up (even though I certainly felt like one for the better half of the past year).

I was talking about my little blog that could here today at breakfast, how I want to publish a book someday – new goal (since I work for a company that values goal setting) is to have draft one completed by the end of this year, and published within the next FIVE years. Doable? Totally. I need to commit to writing, since I have it outlined, and I know what I want to write, I just need to do it. But I mentioned how I get…self conscious of my writing. I know my grammar isn’t the greatest, but I can kick my husband’s ass in scrabble and if you heard me talk, you’d realize that this is certainly my “voice.” And so what if I’m comma happy, and so what if I start sentences with AND. SO WHAT?

My coworker and GM said to me “well obviously you must be a pretty awesome writer if you have x number of subscribers.”

True.

I never thought of it like that. Insert admittance of crazy paranoia here. Seriously, I’ve had some bad experiences in the friend department, so I get a little paranoid about genuineness.

Balance. Self affirmation.

I can totally do this. I am happy and not only that, I am quickly realizing that I am worthy of my happiness AND my success. I have the oh so coveted balance. That deserves a wholehearted YAY! 🙂

Do you have a good balance in your life? Ever need to reaffirm with yourself your worth?

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On Hold

I got an email today.

Dear Substitute Applicants,

If you are interesting in subsituting for Stamford Public Schools please give {redacted} a call at (203) xxx-xxxx.

I applied to almost every school district in the area for a substituting job back in December/January. I was told they were turning them away because they had too many. I put my dreams of teaching on hold, for a variety of reasons, not including the daunting process of becoming certified. Then I applied to my current job. I was hired and the rest is history. With my new job, one that fosters growth, it is, quite simply, everything I could have hoped for and more. And yet I feel bad.

I feel bad because for so long I was certain that teaching was what I wanted. And it’s not that I gave up. It’s something I intend on pursuing in the future but for now? I’m kind of happy where I am. For once, I feel like I’m in a company that fosters growth, that encourages goal setting and accomplishing said goals.

I feel valued, a part of a team. I’m encouraged to go after what I’m passionate about – for me, right now it’s social media and well, I’m kind of stoked about that. All of it.

So for now, I’m going to, essentially, keep calm and carry on. I’m happy where I am. Doing what I’m doing and I just need to be. I don’t want any changes, and after reevaluating everything, I just don’t think being out of the workforce for 2 years or so is feasible. Will I pursue my masters in education? Definitely. Eventually. But for the foreseeable future, it’s on hold.

Sometimes, life throws you curve balls. And you have to be prepared to make tough decisions that are ultimately the right ones for YOU and you alone. Unless you’re married. Then you’ve gotta think about the team. But that? Is precisely what I did. I knew it as soon as I told my dad today that I was putting school on hold, that I was happy with my job, that it was exciting and fun and I really want to see where I can go with it.

And where can I go with it? Well, that’s yet to be determined but I have a feeling it’s going to be a bit of a whirlwind in the very best way.

Ever change your mind on something you thought you wanted really, really badly? How’d it turn out??

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Serene

I’ve been crying a lot the past couple days, for no reason in particular, other than I just can’t seem to chuck this huge weight on my shoulders about everything and the breaking feeling in my heart that just seems constant. This feeling that for some reason I feel like I’m just destined to fail in everything I do. Pathetic, I know, but just…it’s feeling helpless and overwhelmed by life.

So Hubs sent me this this morning:

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

I’m going to go repeat that to myself, go to yoga tomorrow to get into it again and start reading this book followed by this one. Hopefully this will all help perk up my mood in the long term and give me a little bit of much needed hope.

Sorry to be a bit of a debbie downer lately, sometimes you just need to vent, and writing makes everything better. In happier news, I’ve applied to a few hopeful freelance gigs, a couple of tutoring positions and a job. Grad school said I should hear back “soon.” As in the GPA waiver committee made their decision, sent it off to the director, and once he/she approves it, I’ll hear back. I’m not just keeping my fingers crossed, I’m praying because if this doesn’t work out I may have to rethink everything.

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Making things happen

Things got monumentally worse yesterday.

In Hubs’s and I’s quest for the #movenorth, we’ve, in so many terms…lost a lot of money. Gone into some debt for him to take his job. I quit a job, albeit a minimum wage paying one, but a fun one. I loved the gym. He was “consulting” and was brought on full-time to his job just this month thus giving up other consulting clients for his job, and taking a pay-cut to do so. A pay cut. After taxes, etc…which his company will now be paying for, he will be bringing home significantly less than the past few months of “consulting” while also losing a significant amount of outside income. I am…kind of freaking out.

It was, in addition, non-negotiable.

My biggest fears: Are we going to be able to survive? Are we going to be able to not go bankrupt? Will we be able to eat? Will we be able to keep puppeh in kibble? Oh. Em. Gee. The list goes on and on, because while Hubs is incredibly supportive about me pursuing my dreams, the reality is – and I’m realizing this faster than he is – I need A job. It won’t likely be THE dream job, but I need…A job. And I’ve been applying, to part-time, freelance and full-time jobs. But guess what kids…the economy is still crap and well…I’ve had ONE interview since we moved up here. ONE.

I’ve applied to at least ten private schools, ten public schools for pretty much any position that will allow an uncertified teacher – substitute, teaching assistants, etc.. I found out the other day that Stamford Public Schools have SIX HUNDRED substitutes. They TURN teachers away. Same with Wilton. I need to follow up with a few other schools but can I just say…holy. Crap. Me teaching is likely not going to happen any time soon – I’ve still got my fingers crossed for grad school but in the mean time…

Crap crap crap crap.

I’ve begun, slowly, applying for more freelance jobs. Mostly because this teaching thing? Is going to be slow going and me? I love to write. A lot. I think you can tell by my blog right? Right. I might as well wait, wait for grad school or a private school gig, and do something I enjoy in the mean time that may just allow me to make some money. Keep your fingers crossed.

In addition to my quest for freelance gigs, my longing to teach, my marathon training, my soon to be tutoring, I recently started a project that has long been in the works – there’s about eight other bloggers – with a few others that are currently getting started on the site that haven’t been introduced yet. It’s a wedding blog. A blog that came to fruition at BlogHer and took this long (for me: 1 wedding, 1 move and a job and a half later) to get off the ground.

Currently, we’re in the middle of a redesign to make it a pretty wedding blog. Soon? I want to be bff with the big time wedding bloggers. Sharing pretty pictures and dreaming of the wedding that could have been. I loved my wedding, every minute of it – from my sister waking me up super early to give me my wedding gift, to having breakfast with my mom and sister in the morning, to stopping at our frequented liquor store in full wedding attire after the ceremony to get some champagne for the limo to the after party in our suite. I loved it. But I also love the thought of planning weddings – seeing everything come together – the details, the colors, the dresses, the coordinating – everything about weddings I love.

So this blog, is a source for REAL bloggers to write about their weddings. Not that all wedding bloggers aren’t real bloggers but I just found that some of the wedding blogging out there is…less than stellar. And for some reason, I have a small condescending attitude towards bloggers who created their “blogs” to blog for a wedding blog. Or bloggers who write for a wedding blog who had never blogged before. I dunno, it just kind of turns me off. Judgemental I know, and I don’t claim to be the next Anne Frank but sometimes, you just want to read bloggers who can use a semi-colon properly. Am I right?

So, my project, unpaying but oh so fulfilling with some of the best bloggers out there (IMHO) is up and running: The Bridal Bloggette. And in the meantime, while I wait for my teaching dreams to come to reality, I’ll keep writing because it makes me happy and if there’s one thing I need to stay in our dour situation is happy.

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Blog Made It Big Time

Today, there was an article about me in the Washington Post.

Not gonna lie, I feel kind of bad ass.

I’ve mentioned this interview once before, as I spent the last five months contemplating what the eff I wanted to do with my life, I was contacted by them to talk about my “quarter life crisis” and my job search and how I was figuring out that eternal question – what do I want to be when I grow up?

I had no idea. I thought I had an idea but two horrible jobs that left me with tear stained cheeks one too many evenings, left me not wanting to get out of bed wondering what the eff I ever found interesting in politics. I questioned where my “real” passion was, what I really wanted to do.

Anyone who knew me in college knew I loved being in the thick of things. Making a difference. Having a say. I – and probably a few others – considered myself one of the more outspoken members of the student senate. Some say that’s a bad thing, I say it was a passion. Being involved. Having a passion. Knowing where I wanted to go with my life.

I wanted to make a difference.

I was an idealist. I’m more pragmatic now, a trait I consider myself to have nursed since my early days in politics.

But my new job. The not so glamorous one that I just started yesterday, that I wrote about in all it’s fabulousness?

I’m excited. I found my passion.

I should have found this job 2 years ago and I would have been ecstatic. Yeah sure, being a scheduler/executive assistant is nothing glamorous, but the people are incredible. The job has potential, and all that I thought I wanted to do when I “grew up” when I had a career? Well? Here it is. For me to touch.

I’m here. I’ve figured it all out. Do I still want to write? Ummm yes. Most definitely. Would I still love to publish that novel? Oh sure! I will some day. I know it.

But for now? I’m fairly certain I’m right where I need to be. It only took me almost three and a half years to get here. I came here because I have/had a passion for public policy, for figuring out the who/what/why/how to policy-making. I’m finally lucky enough to have the opportunity to see it from a new perspective. I’m thrilled, I’m happy and I wake up in the morning excited about going to work, not because my job title itself is super badass, but rather because the people I work with and for are brilliant and there is so much I can learn from them.

But my passion, the reason I moved to DC, my passion for politics and policy and legislation and strategy and all that fun wonky crap….I’m happy to say…it’s back Jack.

Fret not my lost friends. You’ll find your way too. It just takes a lot of luck and a little bit of networking. Don’t say networking doesn’t count because even though I’m wretched about it, and most of us hate it, it does matter.

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Do they have a class for that?

The vision of what I thought I was going to be  by the time I turned 26 came crumbling down this morning in the parking lot of my part time job at 8:30am.

I had spent two hours running around the gym trying to find ribbon to tie balloons for our open house today. It was there in the parking lot that I realized my $100k+ degree in political science has gotten me nowhere. No where but making $8/hour at an upscale gym tying balloons.

I could be a clown for more than that – so Fiance so kindly pointed out on our walk home after our workout. Unfortunately, I told him, I don’t know how to make balloon animals. Per the title of this post – I wonder if they have a class for that.

Seriously? I’m thinking of changing the byline of this blog from “I live, I laugh, and I wear a lot of pink…” to “the musings of a pink loving disgruntled twentysomething” thoughts?

I just…feel like I’m spinning my wheels. I haven’t had a hit from any of the dozens of resumes I’ve sent out in months, I’m trying to stay positive but with all these cries that DC has such a “booming job market” I’m really starting to want to punch anyone who says that.

I’ll tell you what this job market is like…it sucks. Plain and simple. Want to know why? Perfect example, a good friend of mine recently moved to the beltway after finishing her masters in health policy from a pretty decent program up near Boston. This gal, took her masters degree OFF of her resume, and suddenly she was making less than $30k being an executve assistant. Prior to that, she had had interviews but no bites, she was either “unexperienced” or “overqualified because of her two degrees.” That just makes me sad, especially since she’s smart and probably perfect for these jobs who are telling her “more experience plskthx.”

Let me tell you, people who spend $xk to get a higher degree, and then have to take it OFF of their resume to get a lowly $30k or less job are my heroes. IBecause that? Is not the sign of a “booming job market.” That is the sign of a competitive-if-you-don’t-want-to-do-my-grunt-work-for-less-than-a-livable-wage-Joe-Schmoe-down-the-street-will-for-$10k-less-than-I’m-offering-you-and-he-might-even-throw-in-a-smile-while-he-wipes-my-ass kind of market. Also known as by political science grads who think they’re too good for ass-wiping…as a crappy job market.

I am not anti-ass wiping per se. I’ve done my fair share of ass wiping, it’s what you gotta do to get your foot in the door. But, a part of me, is over that crap. No pun intended. I just want a job that I’m happy in, that pays a livable wage (and might even allow me to purchase full priced items at JCrew instead of having to wait till the sale when they just so happen to be sold out in my size for everything I like.) and sets me up for a few years with a company/job that I would be okay with. That I wouldn’t mind getting out of bed for. That I wouldn’t mind you know, staying late for or actually doing hard work for. I wouldn’t mind having a job that makes me use my brain, not just be a drone at a computer, I’d love to have a job that maybe, just maybe, challenges me.

More than all of that, at this point? I’d really just love a full time job…with benefits. I don’t need metro fare, just you know…health insurance would be nice.

If fiance hadn’t, you know, lost his job, I’d be writing the great American novel, sitting at home every day with a sleepy puppy (seriously, all Elliekins does is sleep. I wish I had her life.) reworking my life’s experiences into a 200 something page chick lit novel with a protagonist with an endless closet and an endless budget.

But for now..I’m going to bask in my disgruntledness. Harrumph.

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