On Adjusting

Alternatively Titled: Why I’m afraid I’ll never make new friends and be forced to spend my day playing ball with Pup

I’ve been adjusting this week. Unpacking. Throwing out boxes and more crap that shouldn’t have even made the move to begin with.

My biggest fear is beside me though. The same fear I had within months of moving to DC.

What if I don’t make any friends?

I left behind a pretty bad-ass group of gal pals in DC. I was extraordinarily sad to leave them behind, to have to say goodbye knowing that no where else in this world would I find friends like them. I should note, that it is because of this here blog that I made many of those friends to begin with. How else does a 20 something gal with a boyfriend (now husband), a gal who can’t seem to find a job in a company that has people her age make friends (that’s not entirely true, I did make a few good friends from my previous jobs)?

Blogging. Why not right? I mean, I met so many of my freaders at BlogHer 09, and now I’m just a train ride away from BlogHer 2010 (NYC BABY!) which is going to fabulous!

But, Stamford, CT , isn’t exactly a blogger meca so I’ve found. Seriously, I’ve scoured the 20 somethings, NaNoWriMo, Twitter, Tumblr and everything in between to find another lonely 20 something married gal in the blogosphere and they just aren’t out there.

I have to admit, I did make one gal pal back at BlogHer that recently moved to the area, so I’m not entirely alone but I? Am a pack kind of gal. I travel better in threes or fours. When I was a two-some in college with J, things got messy and I realized later on, that we didn’t have much in common aside from our love of cheap beer, DJ Jerry, dudes who played hockey, and a few mutual friends. Needless to say, after college it was a friendship that had a natural ending (when she moved back home to the midwest) and I didn’t get too bent out of shape about it but it was…sad. As any ending is.

So what does this mean? I feel like I’m in a holding pattern til I get my grad school reply. I mean, I’d love to join junior league but if I’m working from 7-3 and then taking classes from 4-8 for ten months I don’t see that being a viable option just yet (after yes. In January no). Book clubs, volunteering, harranguing bloggers until someone actually pipes up and will do something like go to JCrew sample sale with me? All are very possible alternatives (though I think my bank card is tired. I don’t feel like shopping anymore for a little while. I say that now though….)

I’m lonely though. I’m trying to be positive. Hubs and I weren’t in a good place anymore back in DC. We were both unemployed (as opposed to just me now), in a space that was too small (by about 500 sq. ft) and were living in a previously flooded basement that we didn’t quite have the resources to repair.

Our new apartment? Is quite bad ass. Friends – well, Hubs’s high school pals – are near by and me? I’ve got tickets to a homecoming hockey game next weekend to party like I’m 23 again (I kid, I kid. Kind of.). But something’s missing. I feel like I’m fifteen all over again…eating lunch in the bathroom by myself because I have no one to sit with in the cafeteria. I hate feeling like this, because ultimately, I know that I’m fun, I may seem shallow but I swear I’m not, I have opinions (and not just on the latest Merona shoe line at Target), I read (avidly), I run (when I feel like it) and enjoy yoga (but not paying for it). I can spend time alone but after spending the better portion of a week? I’m getting bored and lonely…especially on nights like tonight when Hubs is going to be at work till almost 11pm. *sigh*

“something’s missing and I don’t know how to fix it…” –John Mayer something’s missing

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I Caved

Currently reading….

Full review to come upon completion.

[Author’s note: depsite my previous…anti-Twilight tendencies, curiousity got the best of me. And with all the press for New Moon in the tabs recently (and all my trips to Target that have allowed me to read said tabs) curiousity got the best of me, and my subconscious dreamed about Twilight earlier this week. Since then, I’ve been curious. Eager almost. Today, my mum being the awesome mum she is, bought it for me at the Tar-jay. I don’t have high expectations and I probably won’t watch the movie. No promises though.]

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No. 4 and No. 5 Coming Up…

I’m slowly getting back into running. I’m a little nervous, I’ve always been a little hard on my knees and while moving large, heavy boxes (sorry I packed those so heavy now!) I felt a few sharp pains around my knee. Not good. But I figure with a little ice, and some good sneaks I can ward off any real damage.

Getting back to my point, last night I sent in my application for the 2010 NYC Marathon lottery. I’m pretty stoked, and keeping my fingers crossed that I actually get a lottery number.

This month, I’m registerring for VT City again, hoping, praying that I can run a sub 5:00:00 marathon. Then, if all goes well? NYC will be #5.

But here it is…proof of my goals. Come on 2010. Bring. It. On.

There might not be any guarantees but…I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Some lofty goals, that are even loftier assuming entrance into my grad school program (still crossing my fingers on that!), but it’ll keep me moving and running.

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Keep Breathing

Sans this past weekend, I’ve been holding down the fort in DC while Hubs started his new job up in Stamford.

This being apart thing and living on my own? I admire Military wives and widows because I have no idea how they do it.

This of course has left me with the sole responsibility of packing up our apartment before this weekend when we move for reals. I never minded packing, of course packing in college when I’d move across the quad was much easier than packing up an entire apartment filled with 26 years of belongings from both of us. Twice as much to throw away, twice as much to sort through and twice as much to pack. Without the help of a bin that I can just throw stuff in and haul across the quad.

Even when I moved here, a moment I’ll remember for a long time, I had 3 oversized suitcases, and two carry on pieces. Filled with clothes, pictures, books I couldn’t live without and shoes that I “needed.” I’m a hoarder what can I say. A few weeks later my father would drive down to DC and bring me the rest of my belongings. They all fit in the family mini-van – that’s how you live in college and fresh off the graduation boat, things weren’t much different for me. The school furnished much of our apartment’s furniture so I had no oversized pieces and when you move eight times in five years, you learn to condense your life. Keeping the small things and getting rid of the oversized baggage that you don’t need.

I condensed my life when I moved to Washington. I was running away from a relationship that was intense, unhealthy and yet all-encompassing so much that we would have traveled around the world to make it work. I was running away from a family that I didn’t believe believed in me at times. I was running away from my past that I didn’t have the balls to say no to. I packed up my life in three days and hopped on a plane and said “sayonara” to the old and welcomed the new with Red Headed Slut shots with the boys who took me under their wings and helped me move on from everything I was running from. I didn’t want to be the awkward girl anymore. I wanted passion, ambition and success and came to DC naive enough to think I could achieve all of it without succumbing to the brown-nosing, name-dropping, ass-kissing nature of the game. I’m not any of those things, I don’t think I ever was, though that could be debatable.

At one point in life, we’re all self-important. I was in college and let me tell you, I had a lot of fun feeling on top of the world in a school of 15,000. I wasn’t really, but it was a welcomed change from being at the bottom of the totem pole in high school. I wasn’t self-important enough, however, to be as successful as some of my counterparts here in DC.

I fell into my quarter-life crisis holding the hand of a man that I’d never let go of. Everything I thought I wanted – success, passion and ambition seemed to be squandered with failed jobs, leaving me feeling like the biggest failure. I had always gotten what I wanted and I didn’t know how anymore. I was broken. He held me up, supported me and told me, repeatedly, that I am not a failure.

Thankfully, when you’re broken you can be fixed. With the help of supportive friends, and a now husband who adores me, and is often too good to me, I figured myself out. I thought back to what I wanted initially. I re-discovered ambitions I thought were lost and remembered what it was all about to begin with – inspiration. I wanted to inspire the way I had been. Professors and teachers that left such a profound impact on me and my values and ideals that I couldn’t thank them enough for the ways they shaped who I am today – the only way to thank them? To go into the line and do unto others as others have done unto me.

Thankfully, my longing to teach doesn’t need to be in a city that I have come to loathe. I thought my future was here. I came here to be successful and maybe, I just didn’t work hard enough for it; maybe I didn’t want it bad enough, but maybe, on top of that all, it wasn’t for me.

We’re starting a new. One month into married life, Hubs got the job offer he wanted and we’re moving on – closer to families and friends. It was pretty perfect as far as timing went – by the time we hit the two month mark we’ll be settling into a new routine in a new home.

But I can’t help but feeling like I failed, multiple failed jobs, and a chunk of credit card debt I didn’t have when I got here. I made amazing friends who have made the past three years such a learning experience – a fun one at that. I found a passion in blogging and have met the most amazing people because of it – here in DC and elsewhere – Boston, Chicago and soon to be New York/Fairfield County. You can’t ask for a better “hobby” than this. One that introduces you to people you’d never meet, takes you across the country, and opens your eyes to new opportunities and lifestyles. I didn’t fail, I just changed courses. Sometimes, I just need to remind myself of that.

I did succeed in a few things though – that husband that I met by chance? He’s pretty amazing, and I’m beyond lucky to have him. That ex? I got over him. The friends? I found some amazing ones to add alongside the old, fabulous ones. And I’ve found a passion for writing, running, and life. I know where I’m going, I’m up for the challenge of getting there and I have a pretty awesome army to keep me in line when I feel like running away again.

Blogging is going to sparse around here for the next few days – I will have some best of DC posts with some picture of the past three years, reliving memories just so I don’t forget them. Packing is taking over my life as well as some sad goodbyes in the next few days. We leave saturday morning, so in the next week…I’ll be coming at you all from Stamford, CT.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end…” – Semisonic “Closing Time”

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#Movenorth makeover

I got bored.

I’ve been contemplating it for a while, but I finally did it.

Mostly, because I’m picky. I wanted it done at a place I trust. I didn’t want to scrounge for a decent place in Stamford. I just wanted to get it over with. Not to mention the fact that it had been a while.

Except, I didn’t realize she was there. Whoops? The man at the desk took me, showed me the book, we picked it out together…he was fabulous and despite how he kept dropping “girlfriend” into the conversation, I couldn’t help but sense the Gay-dar coming out. I loved him more for that.

What am I talking about? I went brunette. Dark brunette, about a shade darker than I probably would have liked but m’eh. It’s about a shade (maybe 2?) darker than my natural color, which you can see in the roots in the before picture. Also, I cut it all off. I had grown my hair out slightly for the wedding, it was getting longer than I like it to be.

(excuse the awful pictures via iPhone)

Before. Pardon the awful ponytail bump, bad roots and awkward smile.

After. Excuse the dirty mirror, and “I just ran a few errands, haven’t showered because I’m going to be taking the dog for a run soon” look. You can’t really see the length but it brushes the top of my shoulder. Much shorter than before.

I have to give a review though, I’ve been going to Bubbles Salon for about the past year. It’s a great salon right on the hill and a chain that has locations in a few different spots around DC including the Pentagon City Galleria. I had one stylist, that did my highlights and my trims leading up to the wedding, but yesterday I went in and a dude took me. I didn’t realize she was working until later when she said hello to me and asked how my wedding was – I liked her well enough but I never fully warmed up to her for some unknown reason. I’m picky, in my five years in Boston I got my hair cut exactly twice and both times they were disasters by small Asian women who barely spoke english. After those two experiences, I went home to the stylist I had been using since I was fifteen. Even for my first year or so in DC, I still only got my hair cut when I went home, even if it meant going up to six months without doing anything to my hair.

Trust issues with my hair? I haz ‘dem.

But the dude yesterday? That I quasi-cheated on my stylist with? He was incredible. I’d come back to DC just to have him do my hair.

Alas, I know hubs won’t allow that, so I’ll just have to find a stylist up in CT after the beginning of the year to do mine. Maybe I’ll use the one that my MIL and SIL use up in his hometown…we’ll see.

Do you have trust issues with your hair????

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Back At It

I’ve been feeling really blah lately. Very sedentary and unhealthy.

Usually, around this time of year, I’m training for a marathon but not this fall. With the wedding I just wasn’t motivated enough to stick to a training plan and it wasn’t worth it for me to risk injurying myself – especially sans health insurance.

But today, we were both inspired. Perhaps it was the grease from our Waffle House breakfast, or the fact that in two days we’ve sat in a car for about 9 hours and another 6 or so hours coming up on Wednesday but we were inspired to get better – for reals – about our health/fitness.

My plan:

*Eat better. I’ve been eating HORRIBLY since the wedding and well, my pants are feeling it. This is…unacceptable. I need to do better. This will be remedied by eating IN, eating more fruits and veggies, eating a hearty breakfast each morning

*Now that I’m back to working AM’s, I plan to work out after each shift like I was before. Three days of strength and five days of cardio/yoga/running (alternating? combo?)

*Walk more…with Hubs and Pupski. It needs to be done for all three of our sake.

*Drink less. It’s been a celebratory month. A great month! But time to cut WAYYY back for many reasons.

*Weight goal? I’m still trying to get back to 125-130. It’s about 15-20 lbs but entirely doable. Over time. If I stick with my goals.

It’ll all get done but for the next month, until my habits change, I’m going to keep track once/week here.

What say you? How are you feeling before the slippery slope of the holidays? I have TWO subscriptions to Fitness magazine that I happened to come across in my mail (they come with my renewal and are valued at $17) so if you’re with me for getting healthy, leave a comment with YOUR getting healthy tips/tricks/goals and I’ll draw two winners Friday October 9th for a free subscription to Fitness magazine. This isn’t sponsored, just from me, because if nothing else I’m feeling generous 🙂 And, it leaves me accountable by putting it here and if others are with me? That’s even more fun! Right? Right.

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Uno…Dos…Tres…Catorce!

Back in ’04…at the DNC, I was lucky enough to have so many opportunities –

I met John Cusack, I met a number of Vermont Politicians as an alternate delegate for our delegation, I saw President Obama speak before he was a senator, I was on stage when John Kerry accepted the nomination but – the only meeting that mattered that week to my now husband who wasn’t even a blip on my radar back then, was meeting Bono.

Note the awful quality from my 2004 era cell phone. I didn’t even know what blackberries were!! I thought flip phones were the shizzle!!!

You see, Hubs has a man-crush on Bono. He’s seen U2 9 times now – we’re going to his tenth and my second show…tomorrow down at NC State. It was my wedding gift to him, bought way before the wedding, knowing that he was bummed to see them only once stateside this tour, but when I found out they were within a five hour drive?! On a saturday?! And we’ve never been to Raleigh?! The tickets weren’t expensive so it seemed worth it.

It is worth it.

Super Fan Boy – taken during the show. He got really excited. It was awesome.

But then…so was all of this….

My sixteen year old self cried a little bit when they played “with or without you” during the encore, I have a very vivid memory of my first heartbreak and hearing that song play out of a car with an open door when my high school “sweetheart” and I saw each other for the first time after he confessed to “cheating” on me with a girl he met online that he was supposed to breaking things off with. She gave him a hickey that weekend – the triteness of it all is amusing but my sixteen year old self was not so amused after telling him she loved him only a week earlier or so.

I still love the song, it marks a moment in my past but Tuesday night – as Hubs has said before was truly a religious experience. There’s nothing more moving than hearing “New Years Day” dedicated to one of your favorite politicians ever. Never has music been so moving to me. And “beautiful Day” was the song we were introduced to at our wedding (well…ish) so it all…just hit a spot. A spot that needed to be moved by music so incredible you’re left just saying “wow” at the end of it all.

Totes bad a$$.

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A Year in Blogging

To commemorate year 2 as a blogger….there’s a giveaway over at Legallyheidi Loves

Technically, I’ve been blogging since 2001. It started as a love affair with Livejournal. Followed by another, “different” livejournal (I changed usernames) followed by wordpress.com starting today. Back in 2007. I quit the LJ. Saved entries. Deleted the rest. And then as of last year, here I am.

Living my life…in a lot of pink. And a lot of JCrew.

This year I … wrote about wedding planning, I ran another marathon and PRed, lost my job, tried to freelance (and failed), fiance lost his job, I got a new one, and in one week…from today, I’m getting hitched. I started blogging for DC Nearlyweds, as well as Gals Guide. I got a chance to meet so many amazing bloggers thanks to my trek to Chicago for BlogHer 2009 – my first time leaving the Eastern Timezone (in the US – I’ve left my time zone to go to Singapore and London and Amsterdam). Additionally, I was chosen as a Gap Brand Ambassador (which I’m still recounting over at Legallyheidi Loves – my review blog) which was incredibly exciting for me (since 1. I love to shop 2. I love the Gap!). All in all, it’s been an awesome year of blogging.

So I enter year three. I can’t wait to see the people who will come into my life, write as my first year as a newlywed, and see some of my other favorite bloggers get hitched as well!

Giveaway….

Check out the Happy Blogoversary Giveaway over at Legally Heidi Loves….

UPDATE: The giveaway has ended!!!

Happy blogging!!! And happy blogoversary to me!!!


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Too Slow

Alternatively titled: A lesson in shopping online.

Say you get an email in your inbox that says “JCREW – NEW STYLES ADDED TO FINAL SALE!” Say you get a little bit excited because well, you like final sale as much as the next person. And then say you find an adorable pencil skirt for $29.99 down from $88 in your size and a color you like.

Do not wait to purchase.

If you do… then you will find that by the time you are ready to purchase said skirt (say after you get off work) then you will find the same skirt, only available in size 0 and bright “fresh” orange.

Of which neither is your size nor preferred color.

Not that that happened to me. I’m just sayin’.

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Friday Fashion – Sassy Skirts

A new feature here at Legallyheidi is going to be Friday Fashion – anything you want to see? loves? Hates? Something you think should be featured up here? Send it to heidi[at]legallyheidi[dot]com

Aside from my love of shoes (a well documented love), I have another great love.

Pencil skirts.

Now that I’m back in a professional setting, I have a reason to dress up again and pencil skirts are a staple in my wardrobe.  I love them. Today, for the first installment of Fashion Friday, check out a few of my favorites!

[Via Newport News] In a variety of colors, this one is not only adorable but also affordable!

I love this one from Victoria’s Secret – still coming in under $50 – another classic, budget friendly pick.

This one from Old Navy comes in a few different colors – but I really like the pin stripes – coming in at $30 but only available online.

If you’re looking to spend a bit more, check out this lovely one from JCrew, I love all of their pencil skirts but the pattern on this is so feminine that I can’t help but lustfully stare.

I couldn’t help but notice this one from JCrew as well

$895 for a skirt seems obscene to me – do you think that skirt is worth nearly $900? Apparently enough people did since it’s sold out!

What’s your wardrobe staple??

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