Alternatively Titled: Why I’m afraid I’ll never make new friends and be forced to spend my day playing ball with Pup
I’ve been adjusting this week. Unpacking. Throwing out boxes and more crap that shouldn’t have even made the move to begin with.
My biggest fear is beside me though. The same fear I had within months of moving to DC.
What if I don’t make any friends?
I left behind a pretty bad-ass group of gal pals in DC. I was extraordinarily sad to leave them behind, to have to say goodbye knowing that no where else in this world would I find friends like them. I should note, that it is because of this here blog that I made many of those friends to begin with. How else does a 20 something gal with a boyfriend (now husband), a gal who can’t seem to find a job in a company that has people her age make friends (that’s not entirely true, I did make a few good friends from my previous jobs)?
Blogging. Why not right? I mean, I met so many of my freaders at BlogHer 09, and now I’m just a train ride away from BlogHer 2010 (NYC BABY!) which is going to fabulous!
But, Stamford, CT , isn’t exactly a blogger meca so I’ve found. Seriously, I’ve scoured the 20 somethings, NaNoWriMo, Twitter, Tumblr and everything in between to find another lonely 20 something married gal in the blogosphere and they just aren’t out there.
I have to admit, I did make one gal pal back at BlogHer that recently moved to the area, so I’m not entirely alone but I? Am a pack kind of gal. I travel better in threes or fours. When I was a two-some in college with J, things got messy and I realized later on, that we didn’t have much in common aside from our love of cheap beer, DJ Jerry, dudes who played hockey, and a few mutual friends. Needless to say, after college it was a friendship that had a natural ending (when she moved back home to the midwest) and I didn’t get too bent out of shape about it but it was…sad. As any ending is.
So what does this mean? I feel like I’m in a holding pattern til I get my grad school reply. I mean, I’d love to join junior league but if I’m working from 7-3 and then taking classes from 4-8 for ten months I don’t see that being a viable option just yet (after yes. In January no). Book clubs, volunteering, harranguing bloggers until someone actually pipes up and will do something like go to JCrew sample sale with me? All are very possible alternatives (though I think my bank card is tired. I don’t feel like shopping anymore for a little while. I say that now though….)
I’m lonely though. I’m trying to be positive. Hubs and I weren’t in a good place anymore back in DC. We were both unemployed (as opposed to just me now), in a space that was too small (by about 500 sq. ft) and were living in a previously flooded basement that we didn’t quite have the resources to repair.
Our new apartment? Is quite bad ass. Friends – well, Hubs’s high school pals – are near by and me? I’ve got tickets to a homecoming hockey game next weekend to party like I’m 23 again (I kid, I kid. Kind of.). But something’s missing. I feel like I’m fifteen all over again…eating lunch in the bathroom by myself because I have no one to sit with in the cafeteria. I hate feeling like this, because ultimately, I know that I’m fun, I may seem shallow but I swear I’m not, I have opinions (and not just on the latest Merona shoe line at Target), I read (avidly), I run (when I feel like it) and enjoy yoga (but not paying for it). I can spend time alone but after spending the better portion of a week? I’m getting bored and lonely…especially on nights like tonight when Hubs is going to be at work till almost 11pm. *sigh*
“something’s missing and I don’t know how to fix it…” –John Mayer something’s missing