30 days of Yoga (part 1)

So in my goals, posted on a shelf at work, hidden behind a couple of other people’s goals I had two goals I think that I wanted to accomplish by the end of the year.

1. Become a key leader. CHECK. I’m all official as of Monday. I’ve been in quasi-training for the past week or so, knowing it was coming but uncertain when. This transfer really was the greatest thing for hubs and I.

2. Complete a 30 day yoga challenge. Ok this one was going to get done in January. Perhaps my by-when was like April or something but a coworker, as I mentioned, was going to dive right in, so I dove in alongside and we’ve been to 3 yoga classes so far. 27 to go.

The first class was a hot vinyasa. Intense and at the location of the crime. Luckily there were more people, and more laughing. Yoga should always include laughter because how can you be all zen without a little humility right? Right. The second class was a 6:30 hour long class. I’m finding I enjoy starting my day with a bit of yoga. I really do. Even at 6:30. Which worked out well since I had to be at work at 9a and I had just enough time to come home, lounge on the couch for twenty minutes, shower and high tail it to work.

Today was at at different studio. I got there two minutes late. Missed the kick off meditation. Wamp wamp. But oh. my. goodness. Tough lady! Lots of core work and leg work and even a few mountain climbers with some yoga inspired lunges. OW!!

I’m confident though, despite the craziness of the holiday season and the fact that we’re not fully moved in yet, that this challenge will keep me centered and less crazed. This year I will get out my holiday cards. This year I will not forget holiday gifts when I see my family. Nor will I do last minute shopping. We’re not in a position to buy much for people so we’re trying to be a little more creative with our gifts which I know our families will still appreciate.

Finally – my kitchen is unpacked. All I have to do is do a grocery shop and run the dishwasher to clean some appliances/dishes that may have been scurried over by the three blind mice who were inhabiting the in-law’s home during our stay. I can not wait to get back in the kitchen. I finished unpacking it last night while hubs was out for a bit at a Knights of Columbus meeting and as the boxes were stacked next to the door a little part of me couldn’t help but squee a little bit in excitement.

Now to go find my post yoga food and put some more clothes away before going to work. Yay for having a home and a new hometown. Each day just reaffirms that we made the right decision moving here.

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New Life Starts…now(ish)

It’s been a whirlwind weekend freaders. Very whirlwind. Here it is in like 3 parts.

The Plagued weekend…

My main question/remark is: Are men universally big babies when they’re sick or just my husband??

I kid. I kid. The dude was legit sick. How do I know this? Because Monday night at about 11pm I came down with the same black plague.

Seriously, I was up every hour either..well I don’t think I need to say what was going on here, we’ll say I was both sitting on the porcelain throne and worshipping the porcelain throne. No one likes either of those things. Tummy is still not right but it’s certainly on the mend. Nothing like laying on a pile of blankets surrounded by boxes with a fever and a tummy awake that would make even someone with the worst digestive issues cringe. It was gawd awful homies. Stomach virus’ are a bitch. Let that be known.

The move…

So Monday AM, when the alarm went off at 7:30am to finish packing up the “few clothes” that hubs and I had strewn about his childhood bedroom, I was in pain and still incredibly nauseous. It felt like someone was ripping my innards out. Hubs left an hour or two later with the pup in the car. The BIL and FIL left a couple hours after that after we finished loading everything up. I helped the best my poor weak body could, and about a half hour after that my mother in law and I left with me bedded down in the back seat under a pile of blankets.

We moved in. It went about as well as a move could go. But we have a home! We have our bed back and a sofa and and oh em gee. It’s amazing.

Work…

And. Better news. I’m getting a promotion at work! Can we say HUZZAH!? HUZZAH!!!! Like filling out paperwork this week and as I was told I’ll getting the “shit trained out of me.” That may not be a direct quote.

I’m pretty stoked about that. Cross off one goal off the sheet.

Yoga-ing

Next goal? I’m starting a 30 day yoga challenge with my coworker tomorrow. Not sure December is the best month (though it does fall in line with my goals) to do it but we’ll make it work and we’ll be done before New Years so why not? And it’ll certainly help take off that 5-10lbs I put on in the past month since we moved from Stamford. What is a 30 day challenge? Just what it sounds like – 30 days of yoga once per day. One of the new gals mentioned it today when I brought the mom-in-law in to try on the “oprah pant” as she calls them, and I was like “dude. I’ll do it with you!” So now that I said I was game, I’ve gotta stick to it! Right? Right.

In conclusion…

Things are certainly looking up or at least it feels like they are. Maybe that psychic I saw in Greenwich by happenstance when Liz was visiting me our last weekend in Stamford wasn’t so wrong after all. Things are getting better. There was a lot of travel. It was all good (well good but tiring). Now if Hubs would just find a freakin’ job. *sigh*

Yay life! Yay Annapolis! (not so yay for the still gazillion boxes that need to be unpacked. Ugh.)

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One More Week

Only ONE more week freaders!

One more week of…

…living out of my suitcase {and by suitcase I mean vera bradley bag…}
…not having the time to go to classes because we’re a one car family and me fitting in classes and work is too much sometimes with hubs carting me around
…not working full-time (I’ve been only getting about 20 hours/week the past couple weeks since we’ve been back and forth to CT). Unfortunately the hours I have been putting in make for long days on my feet – the other day I worked 8 1/2 hours (nothing compared to my coworker who worked 14 1/2 – she’s a rock star!) and MAN were my feet achy
…essentially being homeless.
…not having a real social life because I work then pass out out of sheer exhaustion. No time for yoga or fun. All work and no yoga or fun makes Heidi a dull girl.
…not having my full wardrobe. {see living out of my suit case}

This week I have plans to attend yoga tomorrow, Wednesday,  and Friday possibly with a spin class on Tuesday. The class on Friday is a spin/yoga class which I’m pretty excited to try out!

One more week til we move into our new apartment and not gonna lie, I am so thankful our family and friends have been so generous to us but MAN am I ready to have my own home again. This whole ordeal is making me extra thankful for those amazing people in our lives – family, friends, etc…who have been generous, kind, and supportive because I know that there are so many people out there with so much less than we have. We went to mass this morning and it was so nice to go and just pray. Pray for things to get better. I’m Catholic and I have faith that God will lead us through this incredibly difficult time that we’ve been going through the past few months, but I just sometimes tend to lose faith and feel a bit hopeless. Regardless of your faith, it’s always nice to feel reminded that someone’s looking out for us.

What I really mean to say is that normalcy is welcome. For reals.

{side note: have you entered to win $100 over at my review of V8 V-Fusion+tea?}

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Perfection and a new blog

I love road trips. I especially love road trips with people who will talk my ear off and people who don’t mind my sometimes awful, out of tune singing to Taylor Swift.

The other night, hubs and I took a new route home. We got tired of I95 through Maryland and Delaware (have you driven through that construction?!) Instead we took Rte 50/301 north in Maryland through to DE Route 299 to Route 1 to Route 13 to I-95. It was a lot less stressful, had less traffic and took about the same amount of time.

On our trip Sunday night, which was late getting started might I add because someone decided to put a nail through our tire in DC Friday night. We suspect it was someone who was unhappy with where Hubs parked when he was at Lola’s on the Hill Friday night. Needless to say we are both more than relieved we WON’T be residing in the District, nor will we ever be patrons of Lola’s or Molly Malone’s on the hill. We really fell out of love with Barracks Row when Finn MacCool’s died, but this just puts the nail in the coffin.

I digress.

So when we took the car to get the one tire fixed, we left it at Sears for 3 hours for them to try to tell us our tire was fine. We talked to someone else, and as I was going to put my bag in the car I noticed a second flat.

A nail and a slow leak (which we had suspected anyhow since our tires were getting low really quickly – thank goodness for air pressure censors) led to two new tires (apparently you shouldn’t replace just one…who knew!) and our poor car in the shop for about 5 hours total. We ended up leaving close to 5:30, grabbed dinner at Whole Foods (we have become Whole Foods FREAKS considering it’s right around the corner from where I work) and finally hit the road close to 7pm and made it into CT around midnight – thank you GW Bridge for not having god awful traffic. You saved us.

I digress, again.

So on our trip, hubs and I got to talking about how excited we were for Maryland. How excited we were for something new, and how excited he was about his job prospects. We talked about how we can’t wait to check our new state out – from the beaches, to hiking, to bars and restaurants, to everything in between.

Then I got the brilliant idea of him and I writing a joint blog. Some of my favorite blogs are husband wife blogs (neverhomemaker, Young House Love, and Confessions of Young Married Couple) and I think it would be really a fun way to get to know our new home. Not only will we be posting reviews, but also events we go to, recipes we cook among other things. There’s not a huge blog scene in Annapolis from what I can gather but I’m always up for a challenge and starting the blog scene there? That’s a challenge I fully embrace! I’ll share the site as soon as it’s up and running, the domain has been bought and it’ll be designed later tonight but here’s the site, go check it out, bookmark it because it’ll be up and running ASAP!  We’re pretty stoked!! Go check out Newly Marylanders!

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Always right?

Last weekend when Liz was visiting me, we kicked around CT on Sunday, by kicked around CT, I mean we hiked up and down Greenwich Avenue and spent the rest of the afternoon at the Stamford Town Center before getting a li’l tipsy at karaoke at Casey’s. It was the perfect weekend, and beyond needed.

One of the better parts was when we were in Greenwich, my old store had a psychic there doing free readings. I’d never pay for anything like that but I was curious to see what she had in store for my future.

“Make two wishes. Tell me one and keep one to yourself.”

I wished for financial stability. My 2nd wish was being curious if I was on the right path with my career – all the changes I’ve made in the past year have left me insecure and uneasy in some of my decisions.

I don’t remember exactly what she said but she said something about new opportunities, a lot of travel, lots of new doors opening, the next few months may be difficult financially, but the next year has lots of financial growth. She mentioned how I already know my soul mate and we’ll have a long happy relationship. (Perhaps reading into the Elizabeth Gilbert version of soul mates was a bit cynical). She didn’t say a lot about our future in regards to children (not that we’re thinking about any anytime soon) but she did say that I was being held back from growth and needed to find a way to grow but was definitely on the right track.

I definitely agree regarding the being held back from growth. I hope that’s not the case much longer down here in Maryland but I’m not pursuing those until I get settled in down here for good.

I don’t usually believe psychics. I’ve never seen one but I always believed they were kind of hokey and/or a ripoff. I don’t know why this felt different, maybe hearing everyone else’s experiences with her prior to mine (and following) and how close they were to the truth/knew what they were going through, gives me a slight glimmer of hope. And maybe, just maybe, even if she was/is right, maybe this is what I needed to hear to reaffirm our decisions recently.

Do you believe in psychics? Would you ever visit one?

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Reality Bites

Why is it…student loan lenders don’t understand the term “unemployment?” Don’t they know you can’t get blood from a stone?
Why does it… take so long for interviews to come through after applying for a job (not for me…hubs)
Why is it…I haven’t gotten a phone call from a certain parental unit in over a month?
Why don’t we have a back up for the back up plan?
Why am I not debt free?
Why did I go to such an expensive school that I paid for in student loans?

I’m scared homies. Like, really, legit frightened about life from here on out – not knowing how we’re going to pay rent, not knowing how we’re going to pay credit cards let alone how the EFF we’re going to eat…it’s a scary, scary reality that’s finally showing it’s ugly face.

I generally hate writing about this all…but ultimately, it’s life. It’s my reality and well, reality bites. Working 7 days a week is going to suck in two weeks. But the fact that we’re teetering on the edge of something not good sucks even more.

My mother-in-law has said to me on multiple occasions that she doesn’t know how we’re surviving. How I do it.

Answer, don’t think about it. Thinking about it all makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. Big fat ugly cry, like snot all over my pillow cry. But really, what’s that going to do for us? It’s not going to solve anything. It’s not going to pay the bills or even buy me a sixer of Magners to ease my worries so why bother? Not worth it, just keep my head down and work hard. Right? Right.

So I apologize if my blog is a little on the slow side, and for this depressing post but I had to write it. Trust me when I say this is not the happily ever after I hoped for when I said I do. This is not the life I thought I’d be living at 27. The light in the dark forest though is hubs, because despite this, and moving to CT for a campaign job that ultimately was a HUGE gamble, is that at least we’re in it together and at least we have each other because without him? I would be in that ball curled up in bed crying.

Sooo….what’s new with you guys?

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On Adjusting

Alternatively Titled: Why I’m afraid I’ll never make new friends and be forced to spend my day playing ball with Pup

I’ve been adjusting this week. Unpacking. Throwing out boxes and more crap that shouldn’t have even made the move to begin with.

My biggest fear is beside me though. The same fear I had within months of moving to DC.

What if I don’t make any friends?

I left behind a pretty bad-ass group of gal pals in DC. I was extraordinarily sad to leave them behind, to have to say goodbye knowing that no where else in this world would I find friends like them. I should note, that it is because of this here blog that I made many of those friends to begin with. How else does a 20 something gal with a boyfriend (now husband), a gal who can’t seem to find a job in a company that has people her age make friends (that’s not entirely true, I did make a few good friends from my previous jobs)?

Blogging. Why not right? I mean, I met so many of my freaders at BlogHer 09, and now I’m just a train ride away from BlogHer 2010 (NYC BABY!) which is going to fabulous!

But, Stamford, CT , isn’t exactly a blogger meca so I’ve found. Seriously, I’ve scoured the 20 somethings, NaNoWriMo, Twitter, Tumblr and everything in between to find another lonely 20 something married gal in the blogosphere and they just aren’t out there.

I have to admit, I did make one gal pal back at BlogHer that recently moved to the area, so I’m not entirely alone but I? Am a pack kind of gal. I travel better in threes or fours. When I was a two-some in college with J, things got messy and I realized later on, that we didn’t have much in common aside from our love of cheap beer, DJ Jerry, dudes who played hockey, and a few mutual friends. Needless to say, after college it was a friendship that had a natural ending (when she moved back home to the midwest) and I didn’t get too bent out of shape about it but it was…sad. As any ending is.

So what does this mean? I feel like I’m in a holding pattern til I get my grad school reply. I mean, I’d love to join junior league but if I’m working from 7-3 and then taking classes from 4-8 for ten months I don’t see that being a viable option just yet (after yes. In January no). Book clubs, volunteering, harranguing bloggers until someone actually pipes up and will do something like go to JCrew sample sale with me? All are very possible alternatives (though I think my bank card is tired. I don’t feel like shopping anymore for a little while. I say that now though….)

I’m lonely though. I’m trying to be positive. Hubs and I weren’t in a good place anymore back in DC. We were both unemployed (as opposed to just me now), in a space that was too small (by about 500 sq. ft) and were living in a previously flooded basement that we didn’t quite have the resources to repair.

Our new apartment? Is quite bad ass. Friends – well, Hubs’s high school pals – are near by and me? I’ve got tickets to a homecoming hockey game next weekend to party like I’m 23 again (I kid, I kid. Kind of.). But something’s missing. I feel like I’m fifteen all over again…eating lunch in the bathroom by myself because I have no one to sit with in the cafeteria. I hate feeling like this, because ultimately, I know that I’m fun, I may seem shallow but I swear I’m not, I have opinions (and not just on the latest Merona shoe line at Target), I read (avidly), I run (when I feel like it) and enjoy yoga (but not paying for it). I can spend time alone but after spending the better portion of a week? I’m getting bored and lonely…especially on nights like tonight when Hubs is going to be at work till almost 11pm. *sigh*

“something’s missing and I don’t know how to fix it…” –John Mayer something’s missing

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Keep Breathing

Sans this past weekend, I’ve been holding down the fort in DC while Hubs started his new job up in Stamford.

This being apart thing and living on my own? I admire Military wives and widows because I have no idea how they do it.

This of course has left me with the sole responsibility of packing up our apartment before this weekend when we move for reals. I never minded packing, of course packing in college when I’d move across the quad was much easier than packing up an entire apartment filled with 26 years of belongings from both of us. Twice as much to throw away, twice as much to sort through and twice as much to pack. Without the help of a bin that I can just throw stuff in and haul across the quad.

Even when I moved here, a moment I’ll remember for a long time, I had 3 oversized suitcases, and two carry on pieces. Filled with clothes, pictures, books I couldn’t live without and shoes that I “needed.” I’m a hoarder what can I say. A few weeks later my father would drive down to DC and bring me the rest of my belongings. They all fit in the family mini-van – that’s how you live in college and fresh off the graduation boat, things weren’t much different for me. The school furnished much of our apartment’s furniture so I had no oversized pieces and when you move eight times in five years, you learn to condense your life. Keeping the small things and getting rid of the oversized baggage that you don’t need.

I condensed my life when I moved to Washington. I was running away from a relationship that was intense, unhealthy and yet all-encompassing so much that we would have traveled around the world to make it work. I was running away from a family that I didn’t believe believed in me at times. I was running away from my past that I didn’t have the balls to say no to. I packed up my life in three days and hopped on a plane and said “sayonara” to the old and welcomed the new with Red Headed Slut shots with the boys who took me under their wings and helped me move on from everything I was running from. I didn’t want to be the awkward girl anymore. I wanted passion, ambition and success and came to DC naive enough to think I could achieve all of it without succumbing to the brown-nosing, name-dropping, ass-kissing nature of the game. I’m not any of those things, I don’t think I ever was, though that could be debatable.

At one point in life, we’re all self-important. I was in college and let me tell you, I had a lot of fun feeling on top of the world in a school of 15,000. I wasn’t really, but it was a welcomed change from being at the bottom of the totem pole in high school. I wasn’t self-important enough, however, to be as successful as some of my counterparts here in DC.

I fell into my quarter-life crisis holding the hand of a man that I’d never let go of. Everything I thought I wanted – success, passion and ambition seemed to be squandered with failed jobs, leaving me feeling like the biggest failure. I had always gotten what I wanted and I didn’t know how anymore. I was broken. He held me up, supported me and told me, repeatedly, that I am not a failure.

Thankfully, when you’re broken you can be fixed. With the help of supportive friends, and a now husband who adores me, and is often too good to me, I figured myself out. I thought back to what I wanted initially. I re-discovered ambitions I thought were lost and remembered what it was all about to begin with – inspiration. I wanted to inspire the way I had been. Professors and teachers that left such a profound impact on me and my values and ideals that I couldn’t thank them enough for the ways they shaped who I am today – the only way to thank them? To go into the line and do unto others as others have done unto me.

Thankfully, my longing to teach doesn’t need to be in a city that I have come to loathe. I thought my future was here. I came here to be successful and maybe, I just didn’t work hard enough for it; maybe I didn’t want it bad enough, but maybe, on top of that all, it wasn’t for me.

We’re starting a new. One month into married life, Hubs got the job offer he wanted and we’re moving on – closer to families and friends. It was pretty perfect as far as timing went – by the time we hit the two month mark we’ll be settling into a new routine in a new home.

But I can’t help but feeling like I failed, multiple failed jobs, and a chunk of credit card debt I didn’t have when I got here. I made amazing friends who have made the past three years such a learning experience – a fun one at that. I found a passion in blogging and have met the most amazing people because of it – here in DC and elsewhere – Boston, Chicago and soon to be New York/Fairfield County. You can’t ask for a better “hobby” than this. One that introduces you to people you’d never meet, takes you across the country, and opens your eyes to new opportunities and lifestyles. I didn’t fail, I just changed courses. Sometimes, I just need to remind myself of that.

I did succeed in a few things though – that husband that I met by chance? He’s pretty amazing, and I’m beyond lucky to have him. That ex? I got over him. The friends? I found some amazing ones to add alongside the old, fabulous ones. And I’ve found a passion for writing, running, and life. I know where I’m going, I’m up for the challenge of getting there and I have a pretty awesome army to keep me in line when I feel like running away again.

Blogging is going to sparse around here for the next few days – I will have some best of DC posts with some picture of the past three years, reliving memories just so I don’t forget them. Packing is taking over my life as well as some sad goodbyes in the next few days. We leave saturday morning, so in the next week…I’ll be coming at you all from Stamford, CT.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end…” – Semisonic “Closing Time”

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Facts of Life

Or the one where bad things happen to good people.

This, my friends, has been…dare I say it, the worst week ever. I won’t go so far to say that it could get worse, because we already said that and it did.

Saturday, I was blessed and showered with love at my bridal shower in Connecticut. We came back with a car full of “stuff” and left feeling excited and eagerly awaiting the arrival of response cards for our wedding.

Sunday, we drove home…seven hours. We picked up our darling puppy, and unloaded our car in about a gazillion trips.

Then. I walked into the bathroom. There was roughly an inch – maybe more, but not too much more – of standing water. Our toilet had been running all weekend. The lever that maintains the water level had malfunctioned and sprayed water out of the top all weekend. The carpet, leading into the bathroom was sopping wet. The carpet in the bathroom was sopping wet. As was the carpet half way into our living room.

We took the appropriate steps, calling our maintenance guy (who promptly told us that there was “nothing he could do about it.”), called our home owners insurance who dispatched a crew to take care of the sodden carpets. They arrived at 1:00am. They finished removing the carpets at 3:30am. They came back and installed high heat dehumidifiers causing our apartment to be 104 degrees (F) the next morning and aside from checking the mail, we haven’t been back since.

*sigh* We’re staying in a hotel till tomorrow when they take the dehumidifiers out.

But it gets better. And by better, I mean worse.

I feel like Jenn Lancaster in “Bitter is the New Black” when she loses her job and then a few weeks later her then boyfriend, now husband, loses his as well. They get evicted, she fights with unemployment and now a few years later, she’s a NY Times best selling author. What luck! Can I have some of that luck?? Please? Because the first part of that? Totally happened to us yesterday (and I wouldn’t mind being a NY Times best selling author either!!)

I don’t think I need to spell out the rest. But yes, a very unfortunate turn of events that I don’t have any desire to go into because I’m trying…to keep my blog as PG as I can and no one got any where by calling someone they barely know mean names. Those who know me, know how difficult this is. It makes it even more difficult knowing we invited his employers (and coworker) to the wedding. Invitations should have been received Saturday. And this is what we get? *sigh* I won’t even get started..

In other news, with this unfortunate turn of events, we’re contemplating all of our options, including a possible (though not decided definitely) move to Connecticut – if anyone has any job leads (any at all!) send them my way. (Gal pals in DC, no need to freak out yet, I’m not going anywhere as of today. Or tomorrow.)
Ideas I’m toying with…

*virtual assistant (a la a pal of mine..)
*teacher (seriously. I’ve had this urge to teach since I was in high school, I just never persued it. I’m kind of wondering if I should…)
*continue trying to freelance though I’m finding less and less that I’m enjoying it, I do enjoy writing but mostly on my own – I like to write what I want to write when I want to write it.
*Pursue a business of my own – not sure what yet. But I do have a website venture in the works. More details as it progresses.

Any other suggestions? I just…hate not knowing what I want to do with my life. I hate feeling in limbo, like a failure. I just have…zero confidence in my ability to “land a dream job!” as so many 20 somethings dream about. I don’t know where I lost it…I just…did. I want to be succesful, I just have no idea how to get there or where to start.

So in the words of Ben Folds….

“…Woke up way too late
Feeling hung over and old
And the sun was shining bright
And I walked barefoot
Down the road
Started thinking about
My old man
It seems that all men
Wanna get into a car and go
Anywhere
Here I stand – sad and free
I cant cry and I cant see
What Ive done
God. . .what have I done

Dont you know Im numb, man
No I cant feel a thing at all
cause its all smiles and business
These days
And Im indifferent to the loss
Ive faith that theres a soul somewhere
Whos leading me around
I wonder if she knows
Which way is down. . ….”
{Evaporated by Ben Folds Five}

Sorry to be all…dare I say emo…but life? Is tough. Wear a helmet.

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