I sometimes forget that no one is perfect. I try oh so hard to strive for perfection in all I do – especially for the ones I love, but alas, I’m not perfect.
Now, I never claimed to be, however, I just try ensure everything I do is perfect – or at least close to it. I hate, hate, HATE disappointing people or hurting people’s feelings.
I had a rough day today. And I forgot as I was sitting waiting for my train back to Stamford, that everyone has bad days. Off days, I’ve had a few – especially recently.
But since Friday, I’ve been clouded with this persistent feeling of wanting to cry. It started with one nasty email. Then another. People I thought I’d never hear from again – I couldn’t even dignify the nasty words with a response – mostly because as Husband told me, they weren’t worth it.
He’s right. But the words stung.
Then I was confronted by my mother-in-law for my MIA-ness. I didn’t send a card, or call on Mother’s Day (though in my defense I did call my mother but not my Nana and not my step mother and no one got cards this year) and I didn’t tell her I couldn’t help with my brother-in-law’s housewarming party.
I felt awful. I really did.
Then I had a “situation” with a coworker that just…miscommunication and words got strewn about and as my other coworker said “people need to not be so over-sensitive” which is slightly true but I still felt bad because perhaps what I said was too harsh, but I dunno. Not going to get into it here but all day today she was upset with me, I don’t blame her but I apologized profusely for hurting her feelings because well, that wasn’t my intention.
That ended up feeding into today so when my manager asked if anyone wanted to go home early since we were slow I raised my hand up. And let me tell you, having the afternoon off to run a couple errands was incredible and much needed.
It’s frustrating how I get myself down so much when I feel I’ve disappointed those around me. I really took those three situations super hard on myself – hubs told me I shouldn’t. I mean, the emails especially since the two broads in question are just not even worthy of my time or feelings.
And my mother-in-law and coworker? Will get over it. The best I can do is say I’m sorry (sincerely! No one likes an insincere apology), and move on and try to be better to them right?
As for myself? We’re allowed bad moods, but despite my foul, glum mood I tried not to let it affect hubs or those around me – especially today. In the face of a foul mood, I deal with it by pretending things are good. In the interim, until you can get some time to process everything – figure out where you went wrong and in some cases (like me last night) have a good cry on your husband’s shoulder.
So this afternoon, after leaving work, reading a bunch and having a nice walk home in the beautiful spring day, I feel better.
I’ll feel even better after I fit in a yoga class or a run which I’ll do either tomorrow or Wednesday.
What do you when you’ve had a bad day? How do you de-stress??