How to get out of a rut & an update

I’ve been in a funk my friends. I’ve been unhappy – with myself, my motivation, my job, my goals. That probably explains why I haven’t blogged since June 1 – since I feel like I’ve had nothing to say. At the very least nothing positive or productive. 

The past month, during my absence here, I took a lot of things into consideration. Hubs and I went to a marriage retreat (if you’re military, I highly recommend the Strong Bonds retreats. They’re free for service members and so very valuable! More on that later though), and while our marriage was never in jeopardy, it helped me reevaluate how we’re communicating and what the root of my problems was and why I’ve just been so blah and not present in my life. 

I was doing things that weren’t making me happy or fulfilled and the unhappiness was causing me to retreat inward – not run, not eat healthy, not spend quality time with my family – it was a downward spiral. I was officially in a rut. 

getting out of a rut

I’m not going to preach on happiness because there are other bloggers that do that a gazillion times better than I ever could (I’m looking at you Gretchen Rubin), but I do know that if you’re not focused on what brings you joy, or what motivates you – you’re going to be unhappy and nothing else except your unhappiness will matter.

So how am I digging my way out of this rut? Well, here’s what I’m doing

Reevaluate goals

I took a long hard look at what I wanted. What I had capacity for outside of the necessities (working. eating. sleeping. taking time for my family.)  It was in doing this that I briefly wondered if I was in the right career (marketing). I am – because ultimately marketing is my passion, but I wasn’t at the right place.  The right thing came at the right time and and I’m confident I’m finally about to land at a great company, with great values, in a role that is really perfect for me. It just took me a while to get here. 

Next, I looked at my racing schedule, my travel schedule, and decided to stop. I have three or four races left for the year but I decided I will not be racing Iron Girl Columbia in August. That was a tough decision because there is nothing I hate more than wasting race fees, but it was causing me unnecessary stress and I didn’t have time to train with my commute and wanting to have actual family time at the end of the day. There is a chance I’ll miss the MCM 10k depending on if Hubs leaves for a 2 week training (still TBD) but I’m okay with that as well. 

By reevaluating my goals and looking at what was really bringing me joy, what I wanted to put my time and effort into, I finally stopped thinking I had to do ALL OF THE RACES, BLOG ALL OF THE TIME and be ALL OF THE THINGS to everyone. I can’t. And I need to be okay with that. 

Make tough decisions

Getting to this point involved making some tough decisions. Leaving my job. Throwing away $100+ on a race fee.  Accepting the fact that I’m not making thousands of dollars from blogging because well… I haven’t been blogging. Those weren’t easy decisions or acceptances for me – but they were necessary.

But, what I did there with those tough (but necessary) decisions, was I put my family first. What I wanted was a little less important when i looked at how my goals were affecting my happiness and what ultimately is most important to me at this point in life – my family and quality time with them. As a working mother finding time for little man can be tough, but him and hubs are the two great loves of my life and I really needed to focus on them a little more rather than training for a big race or commuting to a job that I wasn’t enjoying. 

As you reevaluate your goals, make those tough decisions and don’t let yourself be guided by money or the “should do’s” because if those are the only reasons you’re staying at your job or training for a race or in some cases (though not mine) staying in a relationship – that should give you the answer to the tough decision you need to make.

Be (a little) selfish

I stressed a lot about giving my notice but when i thought about it, it’s wasn’t personal, it was a decision that’s best for me and my family. A business decision if you will, with the business owner making the decision being me. The timing was less than ideal but I need to “do me” (i.e. “you do you”) when it came to this. 

While i love running and racing, I need to think about me and hubs and little man for a change. While sticking with the races I’ve since chosen to forgo might have been more selfish, I would have been doing it so I wouldn’t feel guilty about wasting the money. For me, the money wasn’t worth it. Instead of thinking of what I SHOULD do, I’m focusing on what I WANT to do. I’m being selfish in the best ways possible. 

What’s next?

That all being said, I’m still planning on the Maryland Duathlon in two weeks, and I’m still planning on doing Dewey Beach Tri (which I had deferred from last year) but I can handle running and biking until after my sisters wedding and then I’ll throw some swimming into the mix in August 4-5 weeks before the race. Doing it right now when I have a 90 min – 2 hour commute (round trip mind you) each day just isn’t feasible. I’m focusing on yoga and writing and all of the toddler giggles and just finding joy in life. 

I start my new job in just under two weeks and I’m taking some time between the two for a trip to Vermont for my sister’s shower and for myself. Hopefully in these next few days I can recenter and focus on me for a change.

What are my current goals?

My current goals:

  • Enjoy the summer with hubs and little man (summer bucket list! Hubs and i just came up with one. Now that we’ve lost a month of summer hahaha) 
  • Stick with 80/20 paleo diet to continue my weight loss goals.
  • Run 3 days per week and 2 days of some form of cross training. No mileage goals. Just run, yoga and spin.
  • Write 2 – 3 blogs per week. Regularly.
  • Do 2 things for blog housekeeping each week

Have you ever been in a life rut? How did you get out of it? 

signature